At times like this the urge to write comes. These few days I thought of writing in my diary, but there never seem to be the right moment. I have this weird believe that to write, I need some time alone. But being alone isn't a good option.
This time off, I too use it to re-sort my thoughts. The never ending battle, my darkest fears. Going down the lane, amidst the tears, I found a reason to smile. I couldn't help wondering if these sentiments means something to you too.
The first time I saw you. I basically stereotyped you by your taste in shoes. Then there was the first time we met. You basically put on a cool act, yet, later that night you admitted you spend the whole time looking for my profile. We hit things off well, weirdly with our interest in shoes. You started walking me to class, and on my birthday you followed me around like a wet puppy, wishing me 'Happy Birthday Sarah' every five seconds. I remember waking up to fbchats asking if I'm going to class, and if I don't I'll get another chat after class.
Then the once a day trend starts. Everynight, without fail, before bed. The daily chats. Being a girl, I'm very particular about starting a conversation. After a month or two, I started waiting for midnight to come, it became my favorite time of the day. Some nights, at the stroke of twelve, I would be anxious, and if you're late I would curl up and make myself sleep, but automatically wake up to see your chat there.
Going to class became an event. From wearing pyjamas everywhere, I'd bother to dress up. There's the moment when you enter the lecture hall and your eyes starts scouting for me. Sometimes for kicks I'd pretend I didn't notice, or I'll sit in a midst of crowd. You never took your eyes off me untill I look back, and you'll wave hello. After that the teasing questionare starts. The silly questions when I was suddenly in Talkha after class.
We started hanging out in the courtyard after class, and then outside class. At one point, we end our daily chat with 'see you tomorrow'. Its amazing how we will be drawn to each other; seperating into different groups yet we look out for each other and then you always come, like its accidental. It's foolproof that only our real close friends can notice it.
I begin to believe when Mizah said you liked me, yet I never realize I too was falling for you. You started showing little things that shows how much you care. Winter came and I went back home. I somehow believed that we will fall apart. But apparently we work better with distance. The revolution scares me, and I remember when the line came back the first you said was 'When they cut off the line, all I wished for is for them to at least let me say goodnight to you'. By then I was sure aboutyour feelings. and somehow after I came back, things takes its course. It wasnt easy, but I've never felt so happy.
Many quarrels of our unsured feelings, yet the happy part is just blissful. The was this one time we were not okay for a week, and you came to see me, just like that everything's okay. One day, you bought me ice cream just because I mentioned in passing that I'm craving for them. You dissapeared to photocopy and came back with ice cream in the backpacks. MGT was an excuse to see each other every night. without fail, you will appear at the studio, even for 5mins. That became a thing, you will appear wherever I am, and I find it extremely sweet. Just out of the blue, you appear at the door.
The you confessed to me. That day you sat beside me in class, and just few days before, you randomly bbm me at random times, just because. It was our last class for the semester, you went back and just an hour later it came pouring. I never thought, knowing and hearing would make such difference. I have to admit I freaked out. I stared at the screen for ages, speechless. I was over the moon.
Then well everything after that is just, heh, go figure. Your birthday came, how I freaked out coz everyone was pressuring me. You came to Malaysia, just two weeks after I went back, it was so much fun, indescribable happiness. I remember how sad we both were when I had to leave for Saudi, you asked me wy cant I just stay. Yet again, with only one week together thoughout summer, the distance brought us closer, and when I came back in September, you were in disbelief, you kept saying how you cant believe how I was thousand of miles apart and now I'm 5mins away. The first few days back seems like a dream to me, but your presence makes up for it.
Eversince, we became more stable. The episodes have longer reoccurance periods, and more happy and sweet moments. I speaking for myself, the feelings changes, it means more. I became accustomes to your quirks, and daily rants. How silly things spoils your appetite, and it bugs you since you work so hard to gain weight. Eversince I teased you about being a bony walking skeleton you became obsessed with the gym. I remembered when you finally reached the big six-oh. As corny as it sounds, I still look forward for the next day. For these silly moments, and gazillion more unwritten ones, is what kept me going though moments of hardship.
This is the first time ever, of writing it down. Something good happened last night. It made my heart smile. Because of things like this, I believe in God's miracles are real. Ahmed's (and mine) belief in faith too, helps us in a long run. Have a good day sweethearts.
This time off, I too use it to re-sort my thoughts. The never ending battle, my darkest fears. Going down the lane, amidst the tears, I found a reason to smile. I couldn't help wondering if these sentiments means something to you too.
The first time I saw you. I basically stereotyped you by your taste in shoes. Then there was the first time we met. You basically put on a cool act, yet, later that night you admitted you spend the whole time looking for my profile. We hit things off well, weirdly with our interest in shoes. You started walking me to class, and on my birthday you followed me around like a wet puppy, wishing me 'Happy Birthday Sarah' every five seconds. I remember waking up to fbchats asking if I'm going to class, and if I don't I'll get another chat after class.
Then the once a day trend starts. Everynight, without fail, before bed. The daily chats. Being a girl, I'm very particular about starting a conversation. After a month or two, I started waiting for midnight to come, it became my favorite time of the day. Some nights, at the stroke of twelve, I would be anxious, and if you're late I would curl up and make myself sleep, but automatically wake up to see your chat there.
Going to class became an event. From wearing pyjamas everywhere, I'd bother to dress up. There's the moment when you enter the lecture hall and your eyes starts scouting for me. Sometimes for kicks I'd pretend I didn't notice, or I'll sit in a midst of crowd. You never took your eyes off me untill I look back, and you'll wave hello. After that the teasing questionare starts. The silly questions when I was suddenly in Talkha after class.
We started hanging out in the courtyard after class, and then outside class. At one point, we end our daily chat with 'see you tomorrow'. Its amazing how we will be drawn to each other; seperating into different groups yet we look out for each other and then you always come, like its accidental. It's foolproof that only our real close friends can notice it.
I begin to believe when Mizah said you liked me, yet I never realize I too was falling for you. You started showing little things that shows how much you care. Winter came and I went back home. I somehow believed that we will fall apart. But apparently we work better with distance. The revolution scares me, and I remember when the line came back the first you said was 'When they cut off the line, all I wished for is for them to at least let me say goodnight to you'. By then I was sure aboutyour feelings. and somehow after I came back, things takes its course. It wasnt easy, but I've never felt so happy.
Many quarrels of our unsured feelings, yet the happy part is just blissful. The was this one time we were not okay for a week, and you came to see me, just like that everything's okay. One day, you bought me ice cream just because I mentioned in passing that I'm craving for them. You dissapeared to photocopy and came back with ice cream in the backpacks. MGT was an excuse to see each other every night. without fail, you will appear at the studio, even for 5mins. That became a thing, you will appear wherever I am, and I find it extremely sweet. Just out of the blue, you appear at the door.
The you confessed to me. That day you sat beside me in class, and just few days before, you randomly bbm me at random times, just because. It was our last class for the semester, you went back and just an hour later it came pouring. I never thought, knowing and hearing would make such difference. I have to admit I freaked out. I stared at the screen for ages, speechless. I was over the moon.
Then well everything after that is just, heh, go figure. Your birthday came, how I freaked out coz everyone was pressuring me. You came to Malaysia, just two weeks after I went back, it was so much fun, indescribable happiness. I remember how sad we both were when I had to leave for Saudi, you asked me wy cant I just stay. Yet again, with only one week together thoughout summer, the distance brought us closer, and when I came back in September, you were in disbelief, you kept saying how you cant believe how I was thousand of miles apart and now I'm 5mins away. The first few days back seems like a dream to me, but your presence makes up for it.
Eversince, we became more stable. The episodes have longer reoccurance periods, and more happy and sweet moments. I speaking for myself, the feelings changes, it means more. I became accustomes to your quirks, and daily rants. How silly things spoils your appetite, and it bugs you since you work so hard to gain weight. Eversince I teased you about being a bony walking skeleton you became obsessed with the gym. I remembered when you finally reached the big six-oh. As corny as it sounds, I still look forward for the next day. For these silly moments, and gazillion more unwritten ones, is what kept me going though moments of hardship.
This is the first time ever, of writing it down. Something good happened last night. It made my heart smile. Because of things like this, I believe in God's miracles are real. Ahmed's (and mine) belief in faith too, helps us in a long run. Have a good day sweethearts.
